leave to your God to order and provide.

one of my favorite characteristics of the Lord is His provision. it goes hand in hand with His compassion. sometimes i have to remind myself that He deeply cares for me and therefore will provide exactly what i need. this has been happening recently.

on june 6th, i graduated from a year of service and had no job lined up. i wanted to take advantage of this much needed rest, but spent the days anxious. having no guarantee of employment or housing made it difficult to trust God. He kept asking me to wait and i bitterly responded, “for what?” i felt like i was in a purposeless limbo. i felt like i was wandering through a dried up wasteland. but despite my anxiety and lack of hope, God made a way in the wilderness and provided streams in the wasteland.

between the leases of my old and new apartment, i stayed at CSM, the urban non profit that brought me out to LA. the summer staff currently stays in the apartment. i was blessed by the time i was able to spend with each person. i was encouraged by stories we shared. i had no idea that i had made a difference in their lives until i was told, “becca, your presence creates peace here.” woah! this surprised me because my physical presence was rarely there.

the day after i moved into CSM, i was hired for a summer camp position at UCLA on the spot. at first i was hesitant i because i was sure that a different job i interviewed for was more perfect. i had been waiting for something better to come along but this was the way God was providing for me. so instead of being bitter about how my story didn’t go as planned, i decided to be content where i was. i prayed i would develop relationships in the short time i was there. God has gone beyond my expections! He shows His love for me by reminding me of home. in less than a month working at camp, i have met people associated with illinois and even other Christians!

the Lord has not only answered my prayer with the CSM staff and my co workers but also with community at Reality LA. it takes a while for me to settle in a group of friends. this is mostly due to fear of vulnerability. here, God reminds me of His grace and that in Christ i need not to be timid. so lately, i have been letting go of holding back. as i do, i discover Gods ability to bring different people together and strengthen our friendship by our identity in Christ. it’s a beautiful thing really.

and because God has answered my prayer for amazing friendships (along with (temporary) employment and housing), i am no longer anxious. i know He will provide for me even more so. His provisions are perfect along with His timing. all He asks me to do is wait. and now i do this joyfully, knowing whatever i am waiting for will be nothing short of magnificent.


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